I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
