You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize