even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
