Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
