I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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