His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
