Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
