the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize