Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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