Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
