Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
