i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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