NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
