508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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