ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
