5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
