thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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