So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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