no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize