What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
