No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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