she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
