I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
