I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
