He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
