I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
