Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
