going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize