i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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