i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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