Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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