I'm really into asian looking animals
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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