There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize