buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
