at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize