i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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