I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
