Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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