I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
