so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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