Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
