He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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