I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So squirting runs in the family.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
