God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
