She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
