So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
