Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize