K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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