Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
