that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
