Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Acid is not a monday night drug
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
