I won't be sarcastic... just naked
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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