Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
