Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
