And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
