so that wasnt chicken after all
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
