I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
