was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she told me i tasted like america
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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