oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
