I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im having a threesome with these popsicles
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
