Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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