but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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