Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
