Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
