saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize