well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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