Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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