the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize