I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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