Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
