so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
