I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
