I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
