She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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