it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
