Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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