i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
