we're blogging at a bar
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
