Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
