mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
