it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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