i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
