We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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