she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
