does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
