when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
