Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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