Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
