If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
